Volume 14: Seed In The Dirt

She is a seed living beneath the soil,
A seed who rejects water to never spring,
She is affraid of the world that lies above her,
Will she spring into a beautiful sunflower beneath the shiny sun?
Or will she be a small tree in the darkest Forrest?

Within the soil that sorround her she does not have to worry about such things,
But is this a better way to live?
Yes she is avoiding getting hurt but, at the same time she is unable to find happiness.

As time passes the water in this world is more polluted,
And places where mother earth is still elegant are ceasing to exist,
So please little seed drink the water I give you,
I shall put you in a vessel and carry you with me at all times,
Showing you the little happiness and the beauty this earth has to offer.

Volume 13: Irresponsible

I was wrong,
When you was away,
I just hoped that you were alright,
I just prayed that you would survive,
That's all,
I thought that all I needed was to hold you,
But... I was wrong!

Just holding you,
Won't make up,
For the time I left you alone,
It's impossible to make up for that,
The time I lost myself,
The time I left her alone,
I went away from her.

I am defeated,
By the helplessness of one person,
When was...,
The last time she smiled?

Volume 12: Stuck Between Waiting & Moving On

Will the end be dead or will it be the path into happiness?
Should I acelerate or do a u-turn?
Not advancing either way is hurtful,
But so is making a decision.

I wonder if I’ll never be free,
But the thought of choosing the wrong road,
And you Goin with another guy,
Could it never be me?

Take the wheel and drive me to the end,
I'm your passenger,
Hope and pray you won’t throw this love away,
I just wish that you were mine.

Volume 11: The Light That Shined In The Darkness

Your light shined into the comfort of my darkness,
Blinding the bats that have protected my heart,
Each bat slowly unhinged their jaw,
As they were blinded by your light,
As they were being bothered by the light,
They started flying elsewhere,
Creating a painful relief,
Your bittersweet lies blinded them, scared them,
Confusing me with a warm tingly sensation,
Your light took my sight, my speech, my hearing and my soul,
It became the life that I must feel,
Deep down inside I felt a scream but, this terrible feeling stopped me,
As I woke up I couldn't see that there's not much left of me,
Nothing was real but you,
At that moment your light vanished,
The bats regained their conscience,
Then marched their way back to my heart,
This time biting me harder, promising to never let another light shine into my heart,
With each bite I was brought back to the comfort of my darkness...

Thank you for making me darker.

Interlude: Seasons In The Sun

Goodbye my friend, it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
And all the flowers are everywhere
Pretty girls are everywhere
"Think of me and I'll be there."

Goodbye, papa, please pray for me
I was the black sheep of the family
"I don't know all these words
I have bought three turds
With my BB-gun I would kill birds"

We had joy, we had fun,
We had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed
Were just seasons out of time

All our lives, we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the hill that we reached
Were just starfish on the beach

Goodbye, michelle, my little one
"I was the apple of the shiny sun.
And I have loved you every week
All my tears are salty
I think that now I will start to leave"

We had joy, we had fun,
We had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed
Were just seasons out of time

We had joy, we had fun,
We had seasons in the sun
But the hill on the beach
Were just starfish on the beach.

We had joy, we had fun,
We had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed
Were just seasons out of time

I've had joy, we had fun,
We had seasons in the sun
But the stars that we reached
Were just starfish on the beach.

Volume 10: Life Is For The Lifeless

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

What a fucking dilemma! Everything I enjoy is killing me but, without such things my existence has no meaning.

I will keep distilling the life that's inside of me. Being full of life is "feeling hollow". Therefore I shall remain lifeless until I am lifeless.

Volume 09: Adam Before Eve

Sitting in the dark in the middle of nowhere,
The sounds of frogs, owls, crickets and wolves disturb my nights sleep,
Mosquitos suck my blood for their short lifespan,
The rain has made my bed bearable to sleep in,
But the raindrops and the cold are unbearable.

Who put me in this situation?,
What is the meaning of my existing?,
Why was I created to suffer?,
When will it end? Better yet, how do I end this?

Volume 08: Love, Sex & Pain

I'm not like them but I can prentend.

Others misery make me happy.

I'm not looking for us,
and neither should you,
you won't find yourself,
in these guilty eyes.

I don't know why I'm so fucking cold,
all I wanna do is get with you and make the pain go away.

How did it start?
well I don't know,
I just feel the craving,
I see the flesh and it smells fresh and it's just there for the taking.

Feed me your love with your nude body,
let me drain it all away,
I will dive in and take everything from the inside,
and throw it all away.

I will wrap my body,
in other women's arms.
make love in a hurry,
feel better than I am.

Your feelings,
I can't help but rape them,
I'm sorry, I don't feel the same,
my heart inside is constantly hating,
I'm sorry, I just throw you away.

You're just one of many who broke their heart on me.

The only thing I love is the comfort in being sad.

Volume 07: Journalism

Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.

Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.

Writing isn’t about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it’s about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It’s about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay? Getting happy.

Volume 05: My Favorite Sin

Beneath the white sky, we are merely... Tiny, wretched and helpless.

You lie beneath the lie that is your faith.

All your devotion is caused by your shameful pleasure.

You do nothing that is not inside of yourself. The things that you and others can boast of are boring.

Boring humans, are merely getting drunk on the power of "God", because it's terrible knowing nothing.

Withing you, there is nothing but desire. You want to make things sullied. You want things to be made sullied. Both yourself and others. Both the flesh and the mind.

Such dark, dark desire, that's all.

Within you there is no unpleasant God.

Trust in me, this is the only thing that is certain.

You are too far from "God".

Volume 04: Love

You're a head case with a smile,
Can't stop to make up your mind,
You're a loose girl, I'm a guy
You're a truth freak with a lie.

The truth hurts so bad, wouldn't you say?
So why tell it?

Lie, lie to my face,
Tell me it ain't no thing,
That's what I wanna hear.

If ignorance is bliss, then I'm in,
Heaven now.

Young, dumb, don't see a problem.

Simple as this; I'm in love with the risk,
I know what I've done,
But tell me what did I miss?

Don't wanna follow the laws of man
Bloody apron, leg of lamb
It's so hard to win
When there's so much to lose

From the moment you said "why haven't you kissed me yet?",
I knew i'd wipe that paint from your lips,
I stare the lids off your eyes, gone down on your dirty mind,
& end up between you hips,
Handfuls of sweat tangled hair, anytime, anywhere,
I wanna lick you too much baby.

Open up your mouth,
Touch your lips to mine,
That we may make a kiss that can pierce through death & survive,
Your words have branded my mind.

If only you could stay forever.

Volume 03: Only One Thing Is For Certain

Is there any kind of transcendental "Law" or "Hand Of God"... Which presides over human destiny in this world? Either way, Man has no chance to control even it's own will.

Even if a fish jumps... That cannot change the flow of the river.

You will be born, go through every emotion at it's peak, then die.

Volume 02: Lights & Shadows

The thicker the light, the thicker the shadow.

I have been lost down every path I follow.

I feel the same but, I'm better now.

If all we are are dust and shades of grey,
How are we to say are we all alone?
Why do we still feel empty?

Volume 01: Humans, Life & Others

People who get caught in others' battles are fools who lack the strenght to live...

If I have to worry about the ants I crush beneath my feet, I couldn't even walk around.

If one can't live their life the way they want, they might as well die.

Humans are weak, and we die easily but, not matter how weak we are, no matter how much we're tortured or trample upon, no matter how much pain we feel, we still want to live.